Struggles of Identity

Since my senior year of high school I have been struggling to form my own identity. However, unlike Dee, I have no intentions of cutting ties from my family. While Dee believes that her family is holding her back from her true identity, I know that my family is part of mine. However, my struggle revolves around my family giving me room to breathe and people seeing me as my own person and not just someone’s daughter or sister, though both of those are part of who I am. In the story, Mama clearly lets Dee develop into the person she wants to be and even tries to help. Yet, while Mama does nothing but support Dee, Dee ignores it and just sees Mama and Maggie as the most backwards people on the planet. In my case, I recognize that my parents support me completely, but at the same time they still feel that they need to control what I do and when I do it, which not only stresses me out when I am three and a half hours away but puts restrictions on the things that I do when I am home. And in my case, instead of changing my name, which connects me to my family, my actions of ‘independence’ are simply actions that I need to take for myself. For example, I became a vegetarian my senior year due to environmental and personal reasons. This was a huge identity change within my family because they are very much a “meat and potatoes” family. However, a year and a half later, they finally have come around and are buying me cook books and cooking special things at the holidays for everyone to try. In addition, Dee sees her family’s flaws as despicable and defining things. Whereas when I view my family’s differences from my own, I just see it as a reflection of the times. And even though it causes conflict sometimes we both learn from each other, unlike Dee and Mama who are both so set in their ways they refuse to attempt to understand the other’s. In addition, the only memories that Dee has of her home, she is not found of, and considers what she does remember as “antiques”. In my family, I will always be found of my home, and all of the memories that I have had there. But, since I am trying to start this new chapter in my life, I would like to create a little bit of separation between myself and my home, especially while I am at school. Furthermore, in my battle for identity, I have not forgotten all that my family has taught me and still continue to teach me. But, Dee completely forgot her family and went on to follow the Jones. And although Dee is a strong independent women, she will still one day realize what a support system she had growing up, even if the people who were a part of it were nothing like was she was striving for. When she realizes how much she ignored, she will be a sad woman.