The Last Paper

I thought that there were many strengths as well as weaknesses throughout my paper. First of all, I thought I had a well-written thesis, which allowed me to easily write my body paragraphs. I also thought I integrated strong quotes by Kozol into my paper, thus I was able to support my argument to keep “Savage Inequalities”. The transitions I used throughout my paper, I believe, were clear and allowed my paper to easily flow from one topic to another.
There were several weaknesses throughout my paper, which mainly due to my lack of addressing the audience. I should have made it clear in my introduction that I was writing this paper in order to keep Kozol’s piece for college students. I also failed to do this to some extent throughout my body paragraphs. Additionally, I should have incorporated more of my own opinion into the paper instead of using Kozol to support my argument.
Problems I had with the problem were mainly trying to use an outside source that made sense with what I was trying to accomplish in my paper. Because I was attempting to argue that “Savage Inequalities” should be kept in the Humanities Based text due to issues concerning education, health, and crime I needed to find a source that dealt with one of these issues. This, however, was extremely difficult to find and when I did so, I could only find one quote that could be incorporated into my paper that made sense. I also had a problem with the prompt in general. I thought it was supposed to be more of a paper based on using quotes rather than my own opinion. I know we were supposed to use credible information to support our piece and I know little to nothing about the conditions of East Saint Louis, which is why I thought that I should use the facts Kozol presented throughout his article to support my argument.
The comments that were written throughout my paper were that I didn’t address my audience or incorporate my own opinion enough. Now that I better understand what my paper was expected to by like, I understand and agree with the comments. However, I believe that I would have done the things that were said to be incorrect if I understood the prompt better. These comments were clear and I had no confusion understanding them.