Critique on my Argument

In review of the argumentative letter that I wrote it is clear that there exist both strengths and weaknesses. The strengths of my argument include: credibility, experience, and organization. I was able to make my argument credible by including evidence from Jonathon Kozol and Kirkpatrick Sale. This helped prove that my claims were supported by other people, besides myself. More importantly, my supporters were credible authors whom had respectable credentials and reliable evidence. The second valuable strength of my argument is my experience on the subject. Throughout my live I have been fortunate enough to travel extensively. I have been to nearly every country in Europe; as well as, Russia, Cuba, and various countries in Africa. Through these travels I have observed how people in different countries live and have unfortunately witnessed extreme suffering in many places. In my argument I describe a region of Africa called Soweto. Soweto, as I describe in my argument, is a giant ghetto in South Africa which is extremely impoverished. This region was compared to East St. Louis in Kozol’s novel, Savage Inequalities. Ironically, I have been to Soweto, so when I read this is Kozol’s novel I became deeply disturbed. I have never been to East St. Louis, but if one could compare it to Soweto then the American government needs to act fast to help the citizens of East St Louis. Soweto is bar none the most depressing place I have ever been. I can imagine no place more undesirable to live. In fact, I would go so far as to call Soweto a hell on earth. Lastly, I feel that the organization of my paper was effective. I opened the paper with a compliment to gain the president of the Monsanto Company’s attention. Then, I revoke my praise and criticize the company; as well as set up my argument. I tried to appeal to the reader’s emotional side and also include factual evidence. This helps to attack the reader on a variety of angles, which I feel will aid the success of my argument.
The weakness of my argument include: dated and incomplete evidence and a lack of familiarity. When writing this argument I could not find current evidence about the condition of East St. Louis or the impact that chemical plants had on the area. First, Kozol wrote Savage Inequalities in the 1990’s. Therefore, there is a good chance that a lot has changed in the area since then. Also, I lacked solid factual evidence about the chemical composition of Monsanto’s products. Often times, I felt that I was not really arguing off of current data or experience, but from data collected over 15 years ago. Therefore, I fear that when the Monsanto Company reads this they will be confused. Lastly, I really did not know who I was writing the letter to. I know nearly nothing about the Monsanto Company or what it does. Therefore, I frequently felt that I had no basis on which to judge them.
Overall, I am happy with how my argument was written and feel that the corrections made to it were justified. I would have liked to acquire more recent data, but it just was not available. Hopefully, East St. Louis is in a better condition than it was in 15 years ago.